Buhtt sex?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
