just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
