I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
