you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
