well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
