Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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