Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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