i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
