I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
