If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
