and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
