its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
