Cold hands, warm shart.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
