Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
