Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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