I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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