I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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