just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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