Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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