You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
