we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
