They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
