Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
