Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
