I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
