The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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