the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
