i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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