Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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