so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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