Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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