is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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