I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
