what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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