I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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