I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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