Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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