Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
