my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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