Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize