I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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