dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
