Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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