Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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