You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
