..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
