That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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