I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
