I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
