it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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