Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
