cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
