At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
zippers are such a cool invention
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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